When I think about gender and the conception of traditional gender roles in Japan, I often think of Japanese mothers. In particular, I think of my own host mother, Kayo-san.
Kayo-san is one of the most patient and gentle mothers I have ever met. She isn't exactly the embodiment of the "perfect Japanese mother" but she is certainly something close for her family. Although she does not wake up at ridiculously early hours to make lunches, or keep a spotlessly clean house, she puts so much care and love into everything she does, and keeps life around her light hearted.
When interacting with her children, she never raises her voice, and doesn't even scold them when they hit her in anger. Since her children are still very small, she lets them play in any room they want, and toys are always free to lay around anywhere. I find it very intriguing how few rules she upholds in her household for her children. The strictest rules are for her five year old son, whom she often has to remind to hold his bowl correctly at the dinner table.
When talking to her, it was also really nice to hear that she sent her five year old son to the kindergarten across the street from their house because it was known to be a fun pre-school, rather than one that forces children to study all the time and write essays. She told me that it was important that her son was able to play with his friends, dance, draw pictures, and sing every day, and that she is proud that he has pursued learning kanji and how to write on his own.
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this article has found, she doesn't consider herself a large part of the type of people her children turn out to be. Just like she believes that the number of strokes in one's name does not determine one's personal luck, she thinks that self-motivation and perseverance will get you far in life.
As a foreigner, one often hears the rule "do not eat/drink in public" or at least "do not eat/drink while walking. If you're going to eat/drink, stand off to the side" because it is considered to be rude. Most of us abide by this rule, for fear of getting the unsettling stares from passing Japanese. I myself, rarely see a Japanese person walk down the street with even a bottle of water in hand (I can perhaps count the times I've seen someone walking with food/drink on one hand). However, this rule seemed to be quickly forgotten the moment me and my friends stepped into Kobe's China Town.
Not only does Kobe's China Town have a rather extensive selection of on-the-go treats, food carts and restaurants pack the streets, with rather impressive lines of customers at each stand. It seems difficult to get through China Town without some how ending up buying a pork bun or some other sort of meat on a stick or fried pastry.
Inadvertently, I began taking pictures of these people eating on the go. A public act that so many Japanese frown upon, was being documented even when I didn't mean to document it. My friends and I even commented after leaving the China Town street that, once one steps foot outside the gate, food has been eaten, and people act like this "disgraceful" action was never performed. For some reason, people felt it was more acceptable to eat while walking on this one street, than anywhere else in the whole city.
