Gender in Japan... mothers

When I think about gender and the conception of traditional gender roles in Japan, I often think of Japanese mothers. In particular, I think of my own host mother, Kayo-san.

Kayo-san is one of the most patient and gentle mothers I have ever met. She isn't exactly the embodiment of the "perfect Japanese mother" but she is certainly something close for her family. Although she does not wake up at ridiculously early hours to make lunches, or keep a spotlessly clean house, she puts so much care and love into everything she does, and keeps life around her light hearted.


When interacting with her children, she never raises her voice, and doesn't even scold them when they hit her in anger. Since her children are still very small, she lets them play in any room they want, and toys are always free to lay around anywhere. I find it very intriguing how few rules she upholds in her household for her children. The strictest rules are for her five year old son, whom she often has to remind to hold his bowl correctly at the dinner table.

When talking to her, it was also really nice to hear that she sent her five year old son to the kindergarten across the street from their house because it was known to be a fun pre-school, rather than one that forces children to study all the time and write essays. She told me that it was important that her son was able to play with his friends, dance, draw pictures, and sing every day, and that she is proud that he has pursued learning kanji and how to write on his own.

Like this article has found, she doesn't consider herself a large part of the type of people her children turn out to be. Just like she believes that the number of strokes in one's name does not determine one's personal luck, she thinks that self-motivation and perseverance will get you far in life.